Saturday, 1 March 2008

How to Get Your Balls Grabbed in Japan

Have you ever wondered how to get a complete stranger to hold, slap or grab your genitalia in private, on a street, in a shopping centre or even on the train? Well you're in luck because I'm about to reveal exactly how to achieve this with no training required and at no cost to you!

Are you ready?

Prepare to have your testicles grabbed by Japanese strangers like never before!

The secret is...

...

...simply walk behind a Japanese man or woman! Anywhere! Any time! You see it seems that once they begin walking a lot of Japanese people seem to lose all muscle control of their arms which begin to swing in all directions at once with no thought as to what they'll hit.

Sometimes I've had my special place slapped several times within the span of 15 minutes! And just to clarify, there was no effort on my part at all. I don't go thrusting my crouch into strangers' hands. The grabbing and slapping is purely an unintentional action on the other's part.

Strange? Yes. Have you had this happen to you in Tokyo or elsewhere in Japan? Certainly I'm not the only person who's been hit in such ways or at least noticed all the flapping arms in this country.

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe it's just passive aggressive Free Hugging?

Anyone know how much a box is?

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Labels: Free Hugs, japan, Japanese Social Issues

Tuesday, 5 February 2008

Love in Japan

Something occurred to me yesterday while teaching a song who's every second lyric was "I love you!" and assigning homework to "Practice saying 'I love you' to your family, etc". ...English teachers sure can be full of crap sometimes.

Of course I always knew this, especially when I was teaching at Nova (R.I.P.) but the topic of "love" and teaching the word and it's "meaning in Western culture" is a great example of just how much language and culture a lot of teachers in Japan can pull out of their arse at the expense of the students' (adult and child) learning.

A lot of teachers seem to present the word "love" as having a lot more meaning and emotion attached to it than the Japanese equivalent, "Ai". They'll say how "Ai" just means to "really like something" because it's used all the time and "Japanese people don't really tell each other how they feel".

But wait a sec! Are you saying you've never "loved" a movie? Never said "I love that tv show LOST"? Saying the word "love" is only reserved for when we mean it is a load of bull. As is the assumption that "in Western countries" everyone tells everyone how much they love them.

Now I'm not saying I don't love my family. I do. But I can't remember the last time I said so in person. Quite simply, it's embarrassing and I'm as "metro" as they come. Of course it's a lot easier to write here or sign a letter "Love Brad" instead of "From Brad" but it's still not the same.

Now I do remember getting a LOT of adult students who would laugh and tell me that they haven't told their husband/wife that they love them in years and visa versa but these same people seemed to be contemplating an affair or have already had several (some with English teachers) and not ashamed to tell a complete stranger about the fact or just don't see their husband or wife due to their insane working hours.

Japan does have a lower than average divorce rate compared to other countries which is mostly due to lack of legal and financial support for divorcees and a massive cultural and peer related pressure. This means more people trapped in unhappy marriages and of course unwilling to tell their spouses how much they "love" them simply because they don't.

Making a generalisation without taking into account the variables is just ignorant.

On a whole you'll really find the same amount of love in Japan compared to other countries and saying otherwise does nothing more than support an aged stereotype that Japanese people are emotionless which is completely untrue and slightly racist.

If a Japanese person loves you, they'll tell you.

Let's try and put a stop to generalisations.

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Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues, Teaching English in Japan

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Australia / Japan Apologies

Something really amazing has been announced this past week that really surprised me. I truly thought that it was something that just wasn't going to happen: Australia will apologise for the Stolen Generation!

This is something I think the majority of Australians had been wanting to happen for a while with a lot of us wondering why it hadn't been done already. One major theory was that if the government admitted fault for the Stolen Generation they would be liable to lawsuits and expectations of funds for compensation.

Now, finally I can have conversations about apologies concerning Japan without feeling like a hypocrite, though to be fair, while Australia just refused to apologise, Japan has a history of simply refusing that events took place and even editing school text books content.

Such massive yet little known incidents include;

The Kanto Massacre which happened in the aftermath of the Great Kanto Quake in 1923 in which the Japanese military spread rumours concerning poisoning of water, rape and murder being committed by non-Japanese (mostly Koreans) and then assisted in the rounding up and murdering of 6000 (of the 30,000 Koreans in Japan at the time) Koreans, 700 Chinese as well as numerous Okinawans and Japanese people from other regions who spoke other dialects who were thought to be Koreans pretending to be Japanese.

Note: Interestingly enough the Kanto Massacre is the reason a lot of Japanese businesses including my current place of occupation include small radios in their earthquake evacuation emergency kits to prevent spreading of rumours and rely on fact reported by the media.

WWII Mass Suicides in Okinawa where the Japanese military stole food and supplies, executed those who hid theirs, used Okinawan civilians as body shields and finally spreading anti-American propaganda that compelled 10,000 Okinawans to kill themselves and their families so as to avoid capture from the Americans who they were told would rape, beat, murder and mutilate them.

The Rape of Nanking. Horrific events committed by the Japanese military and government during WWI in which they raped, mutilated, and committed unthinkable things to the citizens of the Chinese city, Nanking / Nanjing. Roughly 350,000 Chinese soldiers and civilians were killed in the eight week period.

Thoughts?

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Labels: Australia, japan, Japanese Social Issues, Rape of Nanking

Friday, 26 October 2007

Anti-groping phone tool a big hit in Japan

As you're probably aware, sexual harassment is a massive problem in Japan. Personally I've had my arse grabbed 3 times (by middle aged women!) and the length of my arm licked once (in one traumatic experience by one elderly man).

1,853 were arrested for groping on trains in 2005 though in reality due to Japanese men and women's paranoia of causing a scene and victim mentality the actual number of assaults could very realistically be 10 times (of not more) than that number.

While of course the perpetrators are at fault, a lot of blame should also be placed on Japanese society and it's people who almost encourage people to act this way. In almost any situation a Japanese person won't defend themselves when being harassed and even worse, noone will come to their aid.

A friend of mine unfortunately fell between the train and the platform early last year and as he held on to the platform and asked for people to help him up before the train pulled out (noone was stopping the train) not one person of the 30 or so who were standing within feet of him did a thing to pull him to safety. A woman standing right above him simply pulled out her mobile phone and muttered to herself in Japanese "Oh, what a bad situation! What should I do?"

Luckily he managed to pull himself up onto the platform.

The scary thing is this kind of thing happens a lot and it scares the Hell out of me as I know that if I'm ever attacked or in trouble in this country I'll be most likely be on my own. It really is scary!

But what's even scarier is that Japanese society isn't growing out of this but instead are becoming more removed and isolated from each other.

Because Japanese women don't like to defend themselves when they're being groped the put up with it and when they get off the train they go and complain to the station master at the next station.

Now instead of campaigns to promote self confidence and standing up for yourself and those around you, what do several train companies do? Why create women only train carriages that run certain times of the day so they can feel safe away from those nasty men (all of whom are apparently perverts). Not only does this not solve the problem but it's offensive and really just helps the gropers improve their time management.

This plan is also PR bullshit as it makes the train companies look like they're doing something but in reality they're not.

There are no video cameras on most Japanese trains.

Instead of installing security cameras they just decorate several carriages with pink flowers and kick all the men out of them for about 4 hours every afternoon.

And Japanese women actually think this is helping.

Now as if they couldn't get more retarded instead of just defending themselves Japanese women are now using a phone application that flashes text messages at the person who is groping them.

This must be a joke, right?

Basically, if your being touched by someone, instead of telling them to fuck off you load up your mobile phone application and secretly show the screen to the man (or woman!) which says "Are you groping me?" or "Shall we go to the police?".

That'll teach him a lesson! In all seriousness, if he's not drunk or mentally unstable, he may stop but if he does he will just go and grope someone else! Moving a fox to a different side of the paddock won't stop him from eating sheep. You have to get rid of the fox!

"I first downloaded this as a joke," said Spicy Soft official Michika Izumi. "But I think it could be a lifesaver if I get groped."

Riiiiiight... I can't think of any female or male friend back home in Sydney who has been groped or grabbed on a train. Why? Because most non Japanese women would raise Hell if anyone grabbed them!

If only people would defend themselves and each other.

Me and some friends of mine used to joke that we could get away with murder on the Japanese trains here. Of course we never would but last year a woman was raped on one of the famous bullet trains here in Japan. She was dragged from her seat into the toilet at the rear of the carriage where she was raped. What's just horrifying is the fact that the whole train was full of passengers and not one person tried to save her, call for help or even press the emergency button!!! Not one person! What's sad is that I'm honestly not surprised. Here's a woman's perspective on this same issue.

And now to end on a positive not, though still relevant, here's a hillarious video of another Aussie in Japan showing you how much you can get away with on the trains here. Just look at that mother defend her children and that other woman defend her dignity!

Note: This is NOT me.

Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Is it offensive... or does the truth just hurt?

I began thinking this morning about my previous post about infidelity in Japan and what I would think if I were Japanese reading it. I would probably assume that the writer was racist or had an anti Japanese view on the subject matter and probably hasn't lived in the country very long. But if a Japanese person wrote the article, I bet I wouldn't have a problem.

It's weird that works. It's like someone bringing up the obesity level in Australia. When a non Australian says it it sounds like a jab at the country but if I said it (being Australian) it would be an intelligent conversation starter about social problems (seriously I swear Australians are getting fatter every time I go back and it's not due to me being surrounded by skinny Japanese people. A fair share of Japanese people are overweight. Almost every businessman on the Tokyo Metro is unfit and sleep deprived.)

If I was in Australia I would be blogging about becoming a republic, obesity, diabetes, AIDS, gay marriage, racism and the Stolen Generation but I'm not. I'm in Japan and this country has it's fair share of problems that affects the lives of people living here.

Since being in Japan, I've become so politically minded (who'd have thought!) that serious (even though they come across as negative sometimes) issues really interest me.

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Labels: blog, japan, Japanese Social Issues

Tuesday, 24 April 2007

Japan Affairs

A great Japan themed blog which I'm currently subscribed to, Kirainet.com has posted an informative and rather hillarious article about sex in Japan and infidelity. In the article it says how Japan is second in the world with the highest rate of infidelity.

I really can't say I'm surprised and I mean that with no ill feeling towards Japan (anyone who comments with another frilling "If you don't like Japan, why are you still there?" post will get shot. Seriously if I made posts like "Japan has apples. So does Australia! Japan rulz!" I think you'd stop reading).

Anyway, the amount of people I've met who's Japanese partner has cheated on them is just incredible. Several of these partners were married (not sure about kids). When working at NOVA so many of the adults (in the age range of 27-60) who would brag about sleeping with another woman (or man, yes the housewives do it too!). Several would go to hostess bars after a lesson despite the fact they had a wife and kids waiting at home.

I remember a hillarious evening at the Peppermint House (sounds like a gay bar but it's just a Japanese pub. Seriously) in Shin Koshigaya when a woman at the table next to ours let me speak to her husband who was overseas on her mobile before asking me if I wanted to have sex with her. "Lady, I just spoke to your husband ten seconds ago!"

Good times. Good times.

Just to be clear, I'm met some amazing Japanese men and women here who I would trust completely and who are genuinely good people. Similar to groping on trains, infidelity in Japan seems to be something visitors to Japan will either deal with personally or through association.

Interestin article. Check it out.

P.S. Just for the record I have never been cheated on during my stay in Japan. Unfortunately several close friends have been.

And now for something romantic and frigging hillarious!

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Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Oh, for fuck's sake!

I've almost had it up to here with people on the trains here. Seriously. I just don't understand how people don't even seem to think that pushing someone deliberately is rude, invasive or provocation. It just does my brain in every time someone, whether it's a teenager, a business man or an old lady, deliberately pushes me forward, out of their way or over a bit and I push them back or tell them in Japanese not to push ("Osonai de!" use it the next chance you get!) they get this complete look of shock and misunderstanding over why I pushed them and some even act as if I'm the one that has offended them!

This morning I was waiting for the train and I was the only person on this part of the platform waiting in line. When the train stopped, noone got off. The train was completely empty. In short, there was no rush to get on the train. Anyway, this was a local and I was waiting for the express so I didn't move. Suddenly someone behind me started to push me firmly with the weight of their entire body. Fed up, I thrust my elbow backwards and pushed them away.

The guy, about my age have me this offended angry look and just stared at me as he walked around me and just sat on the train continuing to stare at me in disbelief and frustration.

Seriously. There were three waiting lanes drawn on the platform, I was in one. He could have easily walked around me to get one the train, or hey, actually started a new line next to me (don't get me started on people's inability to manage lines properly). More importantly if he wanted me to hurry up and get on the train I wasn't waiting for he could have maybe tapped me on the shoulder and muttered a "Summimasen" ("Excuse me"). Instead he pushes me forward rather hard, a very dangerous thing to do as a train is pulling into a station and we're a metre from the tracks I might add, I push him back and he acts like the victim.

This kind of shit happens on a daily basis not just to me but almost everyone in Tokyo. It's seriously retarded. In any other country this kind of shameless pushing would get your head smacked in.

I almost did his head hid but was stopped from the fact that three of the fingers on my punching hand were still bleeding from falling down the station's steps on Saturday (that's another story).

My fingers are feeling a lot better tonight. Those people on the trains better not push me tomorrow.

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Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues

Sunday, 18 February 2007

Valentine's Day, White Day, Orange Day, Black Day...

Well Japan celebrated Valentine's Day last week so Japanese women everywhere were seen racing around buying their men. I still find it just so... Japanese how the culture adopted the western celebration and naturally assumed that the woman should give the man a present and the man should simple receive it.

The holiday has been further warped though by the peer pressure in Japan causing women to give Valentine's Day chocolates to all of their co-workers, friends in addition to their boyfriends or/and husband.

A truly disturbing abuse of the holiday is for socially retarded grown women to use the gift giving as a way to tell a man that she's interested in him. Fair enough, I'm sure some children do this at school in Australia, America, etc with the cliché "Be My Valentine" cards but these are children and not mature adults who most would expect to have developed at least a little social ability by the age of 18.

Seriously, think about this. In this day and age, adults only give chocolate/ flowers/ cards to people they're already in a relationship with. Confessing your love for someone for the first time over a gift exchange would be met with laughter and a possible assumption of stalker tendencies and immaturity. If you like someone, be an adult and tell them.

Luckily for those socially awkward Japanese men who find telling their special someone how much they appreciate them, a holiday called White Day is celebrated one month later on the 14th of March where they can give women an "obligation chocolate" to say thank you for the Valentine's Day gift they received a month prior.

Now, very recently Sunkist, wanting to boost orange sales, started their own holiday based on the crazy idea that a man and a woman can exchange gifts and express affection on the same day called Orange Day! It's celebrated a month after White Day on the 14th of April and has been growing in popularity with each year and also has the double name of "Partner Day" where you get to respect your partner. Pretty outrageous, huh? Reminds of a holiday we have in Australia called Valentine's Day.

I do actually like the idea of Orange Day in Japan though as it gives those in same sex relationships a chance to participate in a romantic themed holiday after being excluded from Valentine's Day and White Day for so long.

Funnily enough a holiday called Black Day (or Singles Day) which started in Korea and spread throughout China has also popped up in Japan in the few years I've been here. This day is for people who are single and/or didn't get any presents for Valentine's Day to get together and party.

Is it just me or is it strange that one fourth of the months in Japan feature a romance themed holiday?

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Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues, Orange Day, Valentines Day, White Day

Saturday, 10 February 2007

Push It!

Took this video last week. Was so happy to catch blatant pushing of another person on camera. You see if you don't look them in the eye, you're not being rude... in Japan anyway.

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Labels: home movies, japan, Japanese Social Issues

Friday, 2 February 2007

Generation Gap

I was remembering on my train trip to work this morning how funny it was last year in the Christmas parties when the the mothers and kids were taking photos of myself and each other. The company I work for gave each classroom cheap disposable cameras to take photos for our own records as well. Funny thing was, whenever I or someone else used the camera to take a photo, all the kids would gather around and demand to see how the photo turned out on the back of the camera. Some of them were so surprised to hear that not all cameras had digital viewing screens and in fact that cameras like that are a fairly new invention.

It was just such a generational gap kind of moment (and I'm only 26!) when kids assume that there will be such a thing on a camera.

Another similar thing that happened several times was when I would blow my nose in class (politely of course) and the kids would go ballistic saying that I was blowing my nose into a towel! Almost all of them had never seen anyone use a handkerchief before. They had all been brought up on tissues.

Kids nowadays.

Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues, Teaching English in Japan

Wednesday, 31 January 2007

Well...crap.

Well it's happened. Japan's started to feel like "home".

A year or so ago I had this vague future goal in my head where I knew I would be going back to Australia and doing whatever I can do after moving to Japan straight out of Uni, living there for several years and then going back with zero useful work experience at all. But now I'm really starting to envision a future that includes.... Japan.

God-damn it! I've got so many fucking issues with this country (racism, hygiene, manners, disorganised businesses and government organisations, sexism, blatant stupidity and Japanese TV. Just to name a few.) but I'm actually liking it here.

Sydney would be so much easier in almost every way but Sydney wouldn't have.... uhh... well... I don't know. It's wierd when you choose to do something that even after logically deciding that you shouldn't do it, you do it anyway.

I guess Japan is like toothpaste. It's bad for you, will give you cancer and most likely kill you but you've been using it for a while and decide to stick with it anyway.

P.S. Seriously, all toothpaste and shampoos with an ingredient called "Sodium Laurel Sulphate" in it causes cancer and the companies are aware of this but choose to keep it in as it causes those bubbles that make it feel so nice. There are safe alternatives though. It pays to check the ingredients.

P.P.S. I wrote "unorganised" when writing this post but my spell check says that word doesn't exist and to write "disorganised" instead. I guess you learn something new every day.

Labels: japan, Japanese Social Issues, Racism

Sunday, 28 January 2007

It's an Australia Day Miracle!

After leaving Chris' place after a night of Australia Day drinking I realised I was more hungover than previously thought and had to stop for an hour or so on the way to the station to get rid of everything I had drunk and eaten within the last 24 hours.

What really surprised me was that on my second chunder chuck up a policeman on hid bicycle stopped next to me an asked me in genuine way (a very rare thing) if I was okay. I said I was fine and that he shouldn't worry. He asked if I had drunk too much alcohol to which I replied "Just a little." We both laughed and he told me that the koban (police box) was just around the corner if I needed help.

I just couldn't help but feel happy about this. It was in such contrast to my experience earlier last year in Soka when after coughing up blood and feeling as if I was about to pass out, went to a koban, explained my situation and they simply pointed me in the general direction of the hospital and told me it would be a 15 minute walk. It wasn't until a few minutes later on my way to that general direction and about 10 metres from the koban I collapsed did they think that they should call an ambulance and help me.

(On a side note, a taxi driver also refused to take me to the hospital because I was sick.)

Anyway, back to yesterday, over the next hour or so, several people expressed genuine concern for me and really wanted to know if I would be alright. Despite the occasional Exorcist style projectile vomit I didn't think I looked that unhealthy. But then again I did have that rolled out of bed hairstyle on me.

This experience completely renewed my faith in the Japanese people and made the prospect of staying here for a few more years all the more comforting.

Labels: japan, Japanese, Japanese Social Issues

Sunday, 21 January 2007

FREE HUGS TOKYO

Last night on my way to catch up with Christie at the famous Hachiko exit at Shibuya I saw some guys and gals gathering together and holding a sign which read "FREE HUGS". I thought this might be some kind of project but it looked like they were setting up so didn't ask them what was going on (I was also late meeting Christie).

Funnily enough, when visiting a community member's blog I saw a little button saying "FREE HUGS". Turns out this is a worldwide campaign!

You can check out the official site at freehugscampaign.org and a cool related clip of some free hugging at Shibuya done late last year on Revver here.

Am seriously thinking of joining this campaign. If any country needs it, it's Japan.

Labels: Community, Free Hugs, home movies, japan, Japanese Social Issues

Saturday, 20 January 2007

Who Am I?

I just remembered that my archives (bottom of the page)were broken so I went and fixed them all. Now you can go back and explore my whole time in Japan and the countdown to me coming here!

I can't believe how fast these last few years have gone. Seriously. Come March, I'll be starting my fourth year in Japan! Gah!

It's interesting how much I've changed. I was talking to Lisa yesterday at work and we were saying how even though we were open minded back in Australia, being in Japan has made us so much more aware of certain issues such as racism, sexual equality and education.

A good example is how the general population in Australia thinks it's acceptable to put down American and America as if it's our God given right. Hell, I think most Australians (including myself a few years back) used to enjoy the odd American joke.

Part of this is due to several factors but the main one being that not that many Americans make their way to Australia. Some for holidays but definitly not to live.

But after being in Japan and working and even become friends with some kick arse guys and gals from the states I realised what a racist prick I had been and can seriously see myself now back in Sydney and defending Americans next time one of those jokes is thrown around at a party.

Having said that though, George Bush is still a tool.

I've also become more proactive in social issues, having seen first hand a society were only 2% seem to stand up for themselves and refuse to discuss important issues like safe sex, STDs, rape, national politics and religion out of "politeness".

Before coming to Japan I would be the last person to watch the news, let alone international news but after being exposed to the Japanese government's utter stupidity when dealing with the Yasakuni Shrine and their complete denial of the Rape on Nanking I find myself actually bringing several issues up and even starting conversations about these issues whether anyone is interested or not.

Who am I now? I guess I'm still growing.

I know it's a cliché, but it's true what they say. You don't stop growing when you grow up.

Labels: blog, japan, Japanese, Japanese Social Issues, Rape of Nanking, Yasakuni Shrine